Love recognizes no barriers.
It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls
to arrive at it destination full of hope.
Please view the slideshow of Christina and Charlie's amazing wedding photos here:
When I was eight years old, and very ill with a high fever, I dreamed that an Angel came to my bedside and told me that I needed to stay on Earth because I had so many wonderful things to look forward to in this life. It was only later that I realized that this Angel in my dream was the spirit of my beautiful daughter, Christina, asking me to be her mother.
A year’s worth of planning, ordering, shopping and arranging is about to culminate tomorrow. Family is arriving from other states and the excitement is building, leaving us all feeling joyful, but exhausted.
The rehearsal is tonight, and the folks in question will come together for the first time in many years. I suspect that most of them will be on good behavior while at the venue practicing tomorrow’s events, but the real test will be the dinner afterwards when the liquor begins to flow and boundaries are tested.
I have been asked repeatedly if I am drinking more these days to manage stress levels and calm my nerves, and I have to say that it’s never been my way to douse my emotions with alcohol. I would much rather put on some beloved movie I’ve seen a million times and curl up on the couch with a gigantic bowl of ice cream. If Karl Marx were living today, he might agree that religion is not the opiate of the people…..but fatty, sugary junk food IS.
Christina’s bridesmaids took her to San Francisco for her bachelorette party where she was treated to a lap dance by a large, black transvestite in a skimpy maid’s costume. Christina looked adorable in her bachelorette head gear: a veil with a multitude of purple plastic penises dangling from it. I am positive that her children will get great enjoyment from seeing these photographs one day…..
All of this must be taken into account while arranging sixty people for dinner. I briefly toyed with the notion of dosing the water glasses with hefty hits of Prozac or Xanax to help these folks mellow out, but who needs a lawsuit at this stage of the game?
1. Original idealistic intentions for strict diet and exercise routine have fallen by the wayside.
I had been working with a bride and her mother for months, making sure that all of the preparations for the wedding ceremony and reception were in place. During our many meetings, I noticed that as the wedding day drew closer, the mother of the bride was becoming increasingly emotional and agitated, picking fights with her daughter about flower arrangements, seating charts and what the sunlight would look like in the photographs if the ceremony went too long. The list of her worries seemed to be growing by the day, and as was typical for my job description, I was more of a peace-keeper/negotiator/calming voice of reason than an event planner.
It was the afternoon of the wedding and the guests began arriving at the Inn for the ceremony which was to take place outdoors in the garden by the river. Some family members trickled in, the groom and his best man arrived and as the time of the wedding grew closer, I began to wonder where the bride and her mother were. Just as I was beginning to become truly concerned about staying on schedule, I saw a woman approaching in a very low-cut white lace dress and hat with a short veil. From a distance, I assumed it was the bride, but as she got closer, I saw with horror that it was her mother, smiling sweetly, greeting guests and pulling the groom by the hand to meet relatives from Kansas.
After observing this spectacle for a few minutes, I went to the lobby to see if the bride was there, waiting for the ceremony to begin. Indeed she was, standing silently in her lovely dress (also white lace) and short veil with a pinched look on her face that confirmed everything I suspected…..she had not known beforehand what her mother was going to wear or that she was going to do her level best to out-shine her daughter on her wedding day. No wonder those pre-wedding planning sessions had been such an uphill climb….mother was determined to have this event be all about HER….and since she was without a husband at this point in her life, her daughter’s fiancée would do quite nicely, thank you very much.
Because it was a small wedding, the seating arrangement for dinner was informal. Mother had somehow convinced her daughter that she should sit on the other side of the groom during the meal…..and to the casual observer, it would have appeared that this young man just married two women in nearly identical dresses, except for the fact that mother had chosen to show off her ample bosom with an inappropriately plunging neckline.
The relatives from Kansas tried to distract mother by pulling her off of the groom and offering her cups of hot coffee. The groom’s father (who had been consuming far too many martinis) decided to get into the act by doing his rendition of dirty dancing with the bride’s mother while his own wife took long walks outside “to get some fresh air”.