I have discovered (with the assistance of my 1950s bridal etiquette book) that I have committed a horrendous and no doubt unforgivable breach of protocol where Christina’s upcoming bridal shower is concerned.  From the book (and I quote with chagrin):

Showers are favorite pre-wedding events.  They may be strictly feminine affairs or include both the bride and groom for an evening get-together.  There’s only one rule to remember.  Lest it look like panhandling for more presents above and beyond wedding gifts, the immediate families of the bride and groom NEVER give a shower.  Friends, cousins, and sisters-in-law are all acceptable shower-givers.

Oh, dear.

Should have looked into this a little more thoroughly before blithely sending out the shower invitations last weekend…..

The advice continues:

There is the tried and true kitchen shower with gifts ranging from a sumptuous pressure cooker to a simple but necessary package of spices amusingly wrapped.  Then there are paper showers with wonderful possibilities….cartons of cigarettes, a subscription to a pet magazine, monogrammed cocktail napkins….perhaps even a check.  Whatever the shower theme, it is a wise hostess who sees to it there is a large container to carry home the “loot”.

Okay….so let me get this straight.  As the mother of the bride, I am not supposed to panhandle, but it’s fine—and even expected—that anyone else in the family can?  What exactly is the difference if the bride gets the same gifts at the end of the day?  I suppose that it "just looks bad" (as my own mother used to say with a haughty sniff while sitting atop her high horse).

Well, I’m in it up to my waist now, so if someone feels insulted that I planned my own daughter’s bridal shower, they can write a scathing letter to whoever is manning the helm at the Dear Abby offices and readers across the nation can have a magnificent field day berating my lack of ethical good sense.

 Perhaps (in a cosmically synchronistic turn of events) my own mother might read the column and (not knowing it was about me) clip it from the newspaper to send to me as a disdainful reminder of what “just looks bad” in our society.

If so, it will make for nice kindling the next time I light the grill…..